This might be harsh but an intersting take on the political coyote ugly

Posted on October 6, 2012


“Yes, Romney kicked Obama’s ass in the debate.

If it were a late night at Jack’s Bait Shack and they both were trying to buy me drinks and get in my pants, there is no question—I’d have gone home with Romney.

He was passionate, smooth-talking and honestly, he had a reeeaaally nice suit on.

Sure, we would have gone back to my place and I’d have banged him.

And then the political coyote ugly would set in.

In the morning, sporting his less impressive birthday suit, sipping coffee beside me the conversation would reveal his lines to be much less than truthful.

Didn’t you say pre-existing conditions are covered under your plan? That Obama doubled the federal deficit? That’s just not true is it? Nope.

Do I remember you mentioning that 20 million might lose health insurance under the new healthcare law, that 23 million Americans are “out of work,”  that half of all college grads this year can’t find work and that Obama “cut” $716 billion from Medicare. That was actually really misleading and exaggerated way beyond the facts wasn’t it? Yep.

Did you mention something about cutting funds to PBS? I kind of hope you were lying about that one too actually.

It is kind of like saying you are a hot lover with a big penis when really you meant you were small, limp, boring and …, and, … did you somehow manage to take money from my purse while I was sleeping?

It’s kind of like finding out that you really actually have a girlfriend, live in your mother’s basement and would say anything to get me out of my panties but in the light of day you are a pathetic, lying motherfucker who I would never consider having anything with except the regret of a one-night-stand.

Get the fuck out of my bed now and I’ll never fall for another lie you tell.

Go on, get the fuck out.”

*Republished with permission from MissylinkXXfactortics

**the slang term “coyote ugly” refers to the feeling of waking up after a one-night stand, and discovering that your arm is underneath someone who is so physically repulsive that you would gladly chew it off without waking the person just so you can get away without being discovered. Coyotes are known to gnaw off limbs if they are stuck in a trap in order to facilitate escape.

***A “Political Coyote Ugly” is when you are led to believe a political lie and regret having been scammed to believe it.

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